There are many important qualities that differentiate good leaders from great leaders. Among them is the ability to let go of being interesting and instead direct our energy towards being interested.
As a leader, there are few things more inspiring and influential than making others feel seen, heard and understood. While making ourselves the most interesting person in the room may feel tempting, this achievement is always short-lived.
At the end of the day, being interesting wears off; being interested lasts forever.
At the heart of all great leadership is being able to forge a genuine connection with the people you manage. Being actively interested in others will expand your ability to approach and connect with people with a healthy curiosity. It will not only allow you to learn from people of all walks of life, but it will also inevitably increase your capacity to empathise and bring out the best in others.
To be interested in others is to give them the space to connect with you, share more of themselves, feel seen and understood, and to share their insights and perspectives. As a leader, this allows you to really know your team better, to see what their strengths are and how you can help them reach their potential.
As an employee, having a leader who takes an interest in you is memorable. It can fill you with a sense of purpose, pride, and motivation to do better with the knowledge that your effort is seen and valued.
If you want to be a person who shows more interest in others, simply start by indulging your curiosity and asking more questions. Rather than engaging in mindless small talk, take the time to think about how you can better understand the person in front of you.
Try to avoid ‘why’ questions – these tend to make people feel defensive, even if it’s asked with the best of intentions. Instead, choose to ask ‘how’ or ‘what’ questions that will provide unique perspectives and insight into the mind of your employees.
Rather than asking “why did you feel unhappy with the project?”, ask “how would you do things differently next time?”.
Instead of “Why are you struggling with work-life balance?”, ask “what is holding you back from prioritising your wellbeing?”
We all deserve to learn under great leadership. Making your team feel seen and valued is something that all leaders should strive to achieve, and it can start by simply swapping our desire to be interesting for the intention of being interested.
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